The Elvis Sandwich On Drugs

wow. well i’ve been missing for quite a well now eh? I mean, I’ve got to, with my Mocks coming up in one and a half weeks. But here I am, coming to serve you vegan foodies.

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Lemme just talk about vegan for a second now. 5 years ago, I was a chicken nugget horder no joke. I would probably sleep with the stuff if I could. I used to despise vegetables, dodging from it in every situation in which my mother would usually force me to eat the green substance and I would shove it into my brother’s plate and lie.

Look at where I am now. Avoiding meat as best as I could, only consuming it at school while at home I would shun it completely. Even dairy products, or the Ariana Grande’s infamous way of calling it ‘tit puss’. Very classy Grande, but aside from the Starbucks drink, I ain’t gonna start liking any other Grandes.

Talk about infamous. The Elvis. A sandwich named after the Rock King himself, as it is known to have been invented by him, according to Wikipedia. A smear of peanut butter, a sliced ripe banana, strips of smoky bacon all squished in between two slices of bread, tasting even better when you stuff it in a panini press. Here I am to show you how to make a vegan version of it that isn’t disgusting in any way.

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First up, the bacon. I’ve seen blogs that uses ‘seitan’ as a bacon replacer, but as I am poor AND am not able to find it in this godforsaken country, I improvised with tofu. I pressed and marinaded it the night before, throw in into a grill for 15 minutes, and out comes this wonderful smell of barbecued meat. You know what else you can do to amp up this sandwich? Caramelize slices of banana in the leftover liquid that leaked out of the tofu bacon. The softened banana ends up absorbing the liquid, creating a sort of sweet and savoury feel to it.

Lovely stuff. Go make it.

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The ‘Elvis’ Sandwich on drugs.

Tofu Bacon. 

Thin slices of tofu

Ketchup

Soy sauce

Barbecue spice. Or powder. I don’t exactly know what it’s called.

The assemble

Two slice of bread.

Ripe Banana

Peanut butter

The tofu bacon

 

Slice your tofu block as thin as possible; it’s hard, but if you want it to be similar to a legit bacon then you gotta do it. Set that aside on a paper towel and work on the marinade.

Mix the ketchup, soy sauce and bbq spice/powder until it resembles barbecue sauce. Then add about a tablespoon of water.

Lay your tofu slices in your marinade, switching sides after 10 or 15 minutes. After you’ve coated both sides, store it in the fridge overnight, or over the coarse of a day for good results.

Next day: get your grill hot and ready before laying your marinaded tofu. Grill it for around 15 minutes or if your nose is superb, until it smells like it’s ready.

Assembling the sandwich. 

Bread. A copious amount of peanut butter. [Caramelized] Bananas. Bacon. More peanut butter. Bread.

Inhale.

 

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[Vegan] PB and J ice cream cake

It has been far too long and I have no good excuse. I was on vacation in Malaysia for 9 days, until the beginning of this week. I planned on posting this post on the day I landed, that night maybe. Boy did that plan got thrown out of the window, along with the study schedule my mom made up.

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So in other news, today is the last day o-. Woah hold on. Cross that, today is apparently not  the last day of 2014, as I was just informed by my father around 45 seconds ago. The things that slip out of your mind when you’re on a holiday. Talk about holiday, it was Christmas the other day! It was quite weird as not a single cheer or ‘YAAHH’s were heard at midnight when I was staying up watching ‘Good Mythical Morning’ when I was at Malaysia despite having a Christian neighbour. All the spirit for him has gone perhaps, as he is seemingly near the edge of his life (no offence sir. On the bright side you’ve got a rather modern taste in architecture from the look of your new porch/dancing area – just shows how young a soul you’ve got).

Despite me being a Muslim, I find this yearly celebration exciting, as everyone (by everyone I mean the christians) hustles around shops at the last minute, scolding shop keepers bearing beanies adorned with cute bells-that-gets-old-with-the-jiggling-far-too-soon who mistakenly wrapped the cake holder with the Eid-themed dark green wrapper instead of the one with Olaf stamped all over it, along with the ever so young Santa Claus whom waddles around the mall, handing out the usual red-and-white striped candy cane and maybe even trying to get kids to get into a white van with him which I am now apparently too old for. Yes, I am younger than my sister by 8 years old so no, we aren’t friends. 

Damn. I sound like the grinch now. No wonder I’m starting to fancy broccoli a lot these days (the green yo).

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Talk about broccoli. I made something for myself, because 1) I finished studying half of the Biology textbook (kind of) and the History stuff AND 2) again, despite being a Muslim and not really allowed to celebrate Christmas, I decided to join in the festivities and joy that people are posting on their Instagram (which you can follow me here) and I am jealous of all them baked treats. But this isn’t all the way baked, oh no. It’s semi raw, fully vegan.

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Ooh yes. Chewy oatmeal cookie base, peanut butter banana ice cream and the teeny balls of frozen raspberries and shaved chocolate. The PB and J ice cream cake yo. Or The Elvis sans bacon, seeing as there are bananas in there too.

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I can’t get over close up shots of those bits of raspberries. They’re so pretty.

Gah. The simple pleasures in life… Go make this man. It’s too easy not to.

 


 

PB and J ice cream cake (vegan)

Ingredients

For the cookie base:

I got the recipe from Top With Cinnamon, all you’ve got to do is 1.5 times it… Err. Well the original recipe makes 4 cookies but I did some calculations and altered it to make 6 cookies. I’m sure you would know how to too.

ALSO if you would like to make it an oatmeal cookie too (for extra chew) replace half the flour for oats, and omit the chocolate chips/chunks.

Ice cream yo:

1 frozen banana

1/2 – 1 tablespoons of peanut butter

a splash of milk

Things to make it look pretty:

Frozen raspberry bits. I don’t know what the actual word for this. OR not frozen is fine too.

Shaved chocolate

Melted peanut butter with some chocolate (you could drizzle the end product with this)

 

To make the base, you’ve got to bake the cookie dough in a small spring form pan (roughly the size of your palm) for 5 minutes. No more, no less. Leave it to cool for half an hour or so (which you could spend productively by watching Sorted).

To make the ice cream part, blend the frozen banana slices until they begin to come together and resemble a fluff of a sort; just be patient with it as it will require a lot of smushing with a handy spoon, or if you have a short temper and simply CAN’T be bothered with silly frozen fruit that won’t bind together as easily as you thought, well never fear as you’ve got your milk to help it bind – only a splash though. After it begins to resemble the fluff I was talking about earlier, you can now put the peanut butter in, and blend again until… well blended.

To form the actual ice cream cake, you have to make sure that the cookie base has fully cooled down, and to check that it can easily slide out of the cake tin. Once these are confirmed, you can now pour in the ice cream into the tin and smooth it out. Shove it into the freezer for around 15 minutes, take it out and you can now do as you like with it.

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(No, I am not ashamed of the obviousness that I used a black cloth.)

I know that this is pretty dang simple and can’t possible be called a recipe, but it was fun to make all the same :).

Have a good holiday everyone.

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Baked Brownie-style Oatmeal a.k.a Another Oatmeal Thang

‘That is absolutely brilliant’

The group of words that made my day better than it was. It was said by my history teacher, after I asked if he had marked the tests we did in the morning or not. I was extremely nervous as I did not do an 8 mark question – the test was out of 30. The highest I thought I could’ve received was a 19; that is, if he was lineant. Wrong I was, fortunately, as I received a 21, along with that sentence up there. I cannot believe how proud I am of myself.

I might actually cry. Might. 

So I celebrated; as I usually do for events as important as this. By peanut buttering up everything I eat. Woah, okay. I nearly had a seizure there, as spell check did not underline the word ‘buttering’ with that unwanted red squiggle. I win this time *hides wet knife as a sinister smile appears*.

The food item that I most often choose as a base for my lovely peanut butter is toast. Simple, yet clever. I don’t know how clever comes into this but just go along with it.

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Oh what the shiz is that. That is NOT supposed to be here.

Neu. THis is supposed t-

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Stahp it. I’ve already posted something that is remotely similar to this. But…that peanut butter and melty chocolate chunks… Who cares if I’m posting back to back oatmeal recipes. I don’t. You might.

So we’re agreeing. Okay. More peanut butter porn you say? Later. Let me get just talk about this thing first.

It is not of the same family as the last oatmeal I posted; it is more of the same phyla. Or class, as it both holds the oatmeal in each of their names, but not the same texture. I actually haven’t the slightest idea as to what a baked oatmeal is like, especially in texture. All I know is that if you put banana slices on top, the faint yellow caramelizes into a shade of burnt gold.

Oh dear me, thank gosh I decided to join the party.

Like. How can you not.

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Yes.

Such a win. I don’t want to talk anymore, let’s get on to the recipe.

 

[Vegan] Baked Fudgy Chocolate Oatmeal

Ingredients

1/4 cup of oats

1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon of chocolate oatmeal

1 tablespoon of unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 banana, mashed

1/4 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2-1 tablespoon of flour

1 teaspoon of sweetener (i used honey)

cinnamon brah

however much blocks of chocolate you want; the sky’s the limit. just kidding your wallet is snarfsnarf.

 

Mix everything together. Pour it into an oven-safe container and don’t forget to put a couple of slices of banana on top and bake it at 165 degrees for 15 – 20 minutes. Get a spoon of peanut butter ready.

Eat.

I’m on a recipe makin’ roll this week.

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National Peanut Butter Month

I could almost see my math teacher’s mortified expression as she leafs through my quiz paper, her head shaking more than my Daryl bobble head – not that I’m surprised as it sometimes make me wonder how that head could balance on those shoulders. The broadness perhaps.

Back to the important matters..

It’s apparently ‘National Peanut Butter Month’! And I would probably have been clueless still if it weren’t for the foodie instagrammers I stalk often. It pays off to procrastinate you know.

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MY jar of peanut butter

As some of you (or most likely none of you at all. This might not even read so I’m just talking to myself) may know, peanut butter and I, we have had a pretty decent relationship. It has yet to be a long one, but I can confirm that I treat it well. I mean… I spread it on a slice of wheat grainy bread with frozen banana coins scattered on top of it so you needn’t worry.

Oh what’s that?

 

You aren’t sure what the proper way of treating the delectable nutty spread? WELL. That is the main reason as to why I am sacrificing my sleep as I would like all the peanut butter of the world to be treated correctly. How so[?], you say.

Do not underestimate me, for I am *planning* (please note that I am in Year 11 = Tests+Mock Exams so it can be a bit difficult for me to keep risky promises like that) to post a couple (4?.. maybe 3 or 5) recipes that consist of said spread. From then on I would be proud to be crowned queen peanut buttah. Not butter. Buttah.

Buttah.

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